Does This Dress Make Me Look Pregnant?

I bought this dress in a thrift shop for RM15 (around $3.50). A dress like this in retail could easily cost me around three to four times that price.

The dress, had twice, brought me memories that I will never forget. Twice while wearing this dress, people had mistakenly thought I was pregnant. I’m not offended though, quite far from it actually. I found their opinion hilarious.

The first time I heard of it was when I went to the doctors for cough + flu + fever combo in 2019. Whenever I fell ill, my skin felt like it’s on fire. Everything hurts, even a slight breeze. Every time my skin brushed against any articles of clothes I’m wearing, it felt like I’m being sliced with a sharp knife. So a broad dress came across as heavenly at times like this. It’s comfortable and didn’t brush against me as much.

The doctor took my temperature, and asked the usual questions; symptoms, drug allergies. He took off his stethoscope and said, ‘This dress you’re wearing, you’re not pregnant are you?’

I’m not being ignorant; I can hear what the doctor wasn’t saying. He just wanted to make sure I’m not with child so that he can give me the proper medicine to treat me. But he did mention the dress being the reason he asked. Both of us laughed loudly in his office when I told him no.

The second time I heard of it was on Saturday in 2020 when I went to the string of food market near the town library. It was exceptionally hot, and I felt especially plump that day, so I pulled this dress from my closet to wear. There was this lady, whose stall was selling pastries: bread, buns, full-sized egg tarts, mini egg tarts, pineapple tarts, you name it. I was craving for pineapple tarts so I went there to buy a carton. The lady switched the carton I handed her to what she said to be a “better looking tarts” because the one I picked had cracks in them.

“We women should give good food to our babies if we’re pregnant” she said, implying that I’m pregnant. “The poor baby in your tummy wants to eat pineapple tarts. Let’s give the baby the good-looking tarts, okay”.

I laughed so hard when I heard her say it. I did not correct her, as I did not want to embarrass her and make things awkward. I went along with her assumption, and was given a discount for the pineapple tarts and she even thrown an egg tart for free.

I collapsed in the car in a fit of laughter when I tell my father about it. I know this has everything to do with the dress. I’m on the chubby side, but people never outwardly ask or assume I’m pregnant. But it has happened only twice, and both times were because I wore this dress.                

Never wrong a writer. They get their revenge in print.

I don't like to be asked what's on my mind and when I do, I am told that I was being over-emotional.

I don't like that when I told people how much I hated you for what you did to me, I am told to move on.

I don't like it whenever I tried to let go of you by talking about you or writing about you, my throat gets tight and I feel like crying.

I don't like it that I am accused of not moving on, when I fucking do want to move on.

I hate you so much for making me change my mind about you.

I hate you so much for convincing me that your words are true.

I wonder if you have any sort of remorse

I hate you so fucking much.

I am on the way of punishing you.

I will give birth to a character intended as a representation of you.

And I will give you a slow and painful death.

Reincarnate you again in a different name, only to have you murdered in some sort of way.

Just like Sisyphus who was punished by being forced to roll an enormous boulder uphill, only for it to roll down when it's near the top.

That is how I will punish you.

A non-glamorous immortalisation of you.

Every time people read about death in my books.

There's no other person they would think of, except you.

For every book, with a death of your character, I will send you a signed copy.

And perhaps a dictionary.

(Because you can't read English)

Do you guys think Bonnie noticed Woody was missing?

I did not watch Toy Story 4 in the cinema, due to personal reasons. I waited until they played it on Fox Movies for free.

I read some movie reviews; and a lot of them were disapproving of the way Bonnie ignored Woody, and all agreed that Woody should have stayed with Andy.

After watching the movie myself, I agreed!

I am quite offended by this fictional six-year-old girl.

If Woody is in college with Andy, he wouldn't be mutilated by another toy in some random antique store for his voice-box.

But then again... If Woody is in college with Andy, he wouldn't have been reunited with his long time love, Bo Peep...

The end of the movie fast-forwarded to two years later (kindergarten is for how many years in America?), Forky is still in Bonnie's bedroom. Which brings the question, does Bonnie noticed Woody was missing?

Twelve random facts about me

Why twelve? I don't know. Probably because there's twelve months in a year? Here we go.

1.

I cannot stand the taste of pineapple.

Not under any circumstances, not even when I dipped them in salt.

2.

My house is a mess.

No matter how many times I tidied up, it's still looks messy.

3.

I can't handle scary movies.

Although the only ones I've ever watched all the way through were Chucky, IT and IT2. They're not bad. But then it's probably because I watched them during daylight.

There's a funny story behind how I came to watch Chucky. Maybe I'll write that in another post.

4.

I used to pull out grasshopper's legs when I was little.

In elementary school, my friends and I would catch grasshoppers, and then we pulled out its legs so it can't jump and escape. We wanted to make them our pets. The grasshopper(s) didn't last a day before it died.

5.

I daydreamed - a lot!

You can't even imagine what it's like. Apparently it's a mental condition called Maladaptive Daydreaming. Although mine's probably called Immersive Daydreaming. Either way, it's a mental condition, like I said.

6.

I don't curse.

Well, at least, I don't curse in front of people I'm not close with.

And I don't curse in my native language. Those were vulgar as vulgar can be. So I only curse in English.

7.

I have one constant friend throughout the years.

His name is Dante, and he's an imaginary pen-pal I wrote to when I write my diary. Hmm... I haven't write to him in a while. There's so much to catch him up on.

8.

I got my driver's license in 2019.

It's a very long story involving procrastination, money problems; and lying and thieving driver's instructors, who happens to be a friend of mine, by the way! I wanted to support his business and that was how he repaid me?!

9.

I keep things that I don't need, or have no need for it again.

This is probably why my house is messy? Hmm... Better fix that.

10.

I am hopeless in Mathematics.

I swear I scores As in Maths from kindergarten age to 9 years old. This was a case of teacher who don't know how to teach when I was ten. And in this case, he only teach a certain group of students because it was convenient in terms of body posture. When we asked him to show us how to do the work, he wasn't as detailed.

11.

I take a long time to eat.

There's this one time at the shopping mall food court, my mother got tired of waiting for me to finish eating, she went to another shop to kill some time.

12.

I write fanfictions.

It's M/M trope(?). It's embarrassing if people in my circle knows about it. But this is okay. I'm sort of in incognito.

For that one reader who visits my blog when they can’t sleep

 Hello. Welcome.

 

Your comment about me not updating my blog in a long time has been heard.

 

Well, if I haven’t been updating my blog before, it was because I was unbelievably lazy. But this year, I have the fortune of having a full time job.

 

But I will try and regularly update my blog from now on; since I found out I have a loyal fan. You won't believe how happy this makes me.

 

You also mentioned not being able to focus on reading my blog because I wrote long articles.

 

I will try to keep them short.

 

Stay tuned.